There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. No… but I’d like to be asked! I’m afraid I just blue myself. No… but I’d like to be asked! What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun.

Let ‘Em Eat Cake

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. I’m afraid I just blue myself. Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Guy’s a pro. Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. Well, what do you expect, mother? Guy’s a pro. There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

• I’m a monster.
• No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

Afternoon delight

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Army had half a day. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Army had half a day. I’m afraid I just blue myself. I hear the jury’s still out on science.

1. Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
2. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.

Exit Strategy

Guy’s a pro. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you. Steve Holt!